The other morning I received a text asking to pick up a friend's kid from school. Normally, I would not even hesitate to do this. Our girls are friends and they would have a great afternoon. However, on this particular day, we already had plans to celebrate a birthday with a different friend's daughter. I felt so bad about saying no, but I had to out of respect for the already planned birthday event.
The situation brought up a lot of feelings about saying no.
I've been a mom for eight plus years now. I've read all the articles... "Say yes more" and "Don't be afraid to say no." They all have their points. Still, it is something that comes up for all of us right? When do we say yes and when do we say no?
Though I tried to rack my brain around how I could help, the reality is I couldn't. I already had other obligations. They figured it out thankfully and our day went smoothly as well, but still, I felt the guilt.
I am a people pleaser by nature. If you don't suffer from such affliction, you are lucky. But there are some who understand exactly what I mean.
I try to say yes as often as I can. I enjoy those unplanned moments in life, they are usually the ones we remember. I like to try new things, and saying yes to new opportunities often brings about joy.
The other side of saying yes, is that sometimes my plate is just full. Sometimes it is overflowing. That is my current status...full and overflowing. In this case, saying no is a must because I can't handle anything else today, or tomorrow.
In this particular instance it was because that answer affected someone else. And yet, I still felt remorseful that I couldn't help out. If only it was the next day. (Then again that day was full too, but I probably would have made a way.)
It is a tricky task managing time, resources and energy. Sometimes I wonder how we get anything done or maintain any relationships. Yet, somehow, someway, I am lucky enough to meet people who understand the stresses of life and forgive those times when it just doesn't work out.
I tend to be a "yes" person, though I am learning that I need to hold my own sanity and priorities above outside sources. I don't mean that in a selfish way, though I struggle with how that sounds. I mean that at the end of the day I have to make sure me and mine are taken care of and I can accomplish what is required of me. Adding unnecessary is when I am learning to just say no. Even when it is hard to do.
Where do you fall on the "yes" and "no" scale? Do you ever feel guilty about saying no or regret saying yes? I'm curious, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.